Jan 14, 2019
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world.
Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. Your tuning in whether childless not by choice or not makes you a part of the conversation. Thank you!
Welcome to episode 103!
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Well, in today’s episode, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to Yvonne John. This was such an awesome episode to record!
Intro: Yvonne John
Yvonne was never sure if she really wanted children but knew that she was expected to get married and have a family, in that order. Somewhere in between her dreams of traveling and experiencing what life had to offer Yvonne did wish for the perfect family, a husband, and four children. By the time she had reached her thirties this dream had fast lost its momentum, and by then Yvonne had given up on the dream of being a wife and mother. Because of her past, Yvonne had decided that it was now time to live by her choices. Yvonne believed that the opportunity to become a mother had passed so it was time to move on. It wasn't until Yvonne met her husband at 38 her faith in love was reignited. A year into their marriage Yvonne and her husband decided to try for a baby, which led to the unexpected sadness that was to follow when Yvonne was informed that she had 'Unexplained Infertility'. While trying to understand her grief Yvonne was introduced to Gateway Women, where she has been on her journey of forgiveness and renewed self-discovery.
Yvonne is the author of “Dreaming of a Life Unlived: Intimate Stories and Portraits of Women Without Children” (2016) and has appeared on numerous radio and television programmes to talk about her experience of recovering from the grief of involuntary childlessness. Yvonne blogs about this at “Finding My Plan B”. A graduate of Gateway Women year long Plan B Mentorship programme, Jody Day (founder of Gateway Women) personally invited Yvonne to lead the Reignite weekends for women of color having come to understand through many conversations together that there are unique aspects to the women of color experience of childlessness that would be better served in a dedicated workshop.
For more information on Yvonne's book, Blog, and platform, please check the show notes!
So when we had our pre-interview chat I realized right away that we have at least one thing in common: our families emigrated from the Caribbean, mine to the US, and yours to England.
1) I am sure like anyone whose family emigrates from another country, you lived and to some extent still live with one foot in the old country and one foot in the new country, tell us a little about how that was for you growing up in The United Kingdom.
2) Your workshop which is geared toward childless, not by choice women of color was created because we do have what I believe is cultural circumstances around not being able to have children. The cultural issues we have to deal with are probably the main reason we hide our childlessness, or like Michelle Obama said recently, not being more open about the struggle with infertility and miscarriage. How do you think we can fix this, how do we keep a ‘happy medium’ between talking about our struggle and not oversharing?
3) Why do you think black women are not more supportive and edifying of each other? Which can lead to the hiding our feelings--doesn’t allow for honesty.
4) We’ve covered some pretty heavy issues today. And here’s another one: we previously talked about episode 94--Triggers. You mentioned that your experience with the Charismatic church was negative, and in fact one of the reasons you reached out to me was because you heard me say in a previous video conversation, I will put the link in the show notes, that I wanted to work on getting the church in general, to be more aware of the childless not by choice members sitting in their pews. Do you think we still have a long way to go to church whether charismatic or otherwise, with how childless women are treated?
Church folk tends to think childless women are sick and need to be prayed for right?
5) ) Pivoting a little, as we come to a close, hysterectomy: are you still planning on scheduling one for yourself? I would like the women who are considering or have already scheduled their hysterectomy, to hear what you plan to do as far as writing a letter to say goodbye (to your womb). Can you tell us your process, and if we’ve already had the hysterectomy, is it too late to say goodbye?
6) Is there anything we did not get to discuss that you really wanted to get the word out on before we close?
Don’t forget to check out the show notes! Yvonne’s contact information is there, there are links to news stories I found interesting, the link to my online store chock full of great products created for the childless not by choice community is there, contact information for my sponsor Morgan Air as well as the contact information for my supporters. And of course, my contact information is there.
Yvonne’s contact information:
Yvonne blogs at http://bit.ly/findingmyplanb
If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for details.
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Special thank you to:
Thank you to Morgan Air Conditioning. Morgan Air can be reached by calling 813 500 7765. And their email address is www.Morganair.net.
Along with a stellar business reputation in the Tampa, FL area, Morgan Air is also known and well received for giving back to the Tampa, FL community whether it is back to school drives or donating services to the less fortunate.
Thank you Morgan Air for recognizing the vision of Childless not by Choice, and being a part of it.
Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, including their concert schedule, visit their website at www.devotedministry.org.
Episodes and books mentioned in this episode:
News stories of note:
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!