EVERYONE, WELCOME BACK TO 21ST CENTURY HANNAH, WHERE MY MISSION IS
TO RECOGNIZE AND SPEAK TO THE BROKEN HEARTS OF CHILDLESS NOT BY
CHOICE WOMEN AND MEN, AROUND THE WORLD. I AM SPREADING THE
GREAT NEWS THAT WE CAN LIVE A JOYFUL AND RELEVANT LIFE ALTHOUGH WE
COULD NOT HAVE CHILDREN. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALLOWING ME TO
SIT WITH YOU AWHILE.
- Well, it’s
nearing the end of the year. And as such, many of you are probably
reflecting on the good, the bad, and the ugly of the last 12
months. I don’t think we can help it. Especially if we want
to grow from all we have learned, and have an even better next
- I don’t know
if you have ever done this, but last year around this time, I wrote
myself two letters. They were written at two different events. One
event was a vision board party, and the other was a women’s
mastermind luncheon. Apparently, the event hosts had the same idea!
In each letter, I had to write to my future self what I expected
her to have done by the time she received the letter a year later.
Stay with me, don’t get confused! Lol!
- In one
letter, I wrote a three-point list of the things I expected me to
do. In the other letter, I wrote an actual Dear Me letter. As I
read that letter, I thought to myself: I’m nice to me. I like me!
Lol! Like most of us, though, it hasn’t always been that way. In my
younger years, there was so much I did not like about myself. I
practically wanted to be someone else. But as I matured, and as I
surrounded myself by people who encouraged me, things began to
change. I began to realize that who I surrounded myself with, who I
listened to, really mattered.
- I began to
learn more about my personality. I realized I liked to have
friends, but that I also liked my own company. I used to wonder if
I were weird. But I wasn’t. Some things you only learn as you live
life. Amazingly, many people go through life never really knowing
who they are. They are afraid to find out. I believe getting to
know yourself is helpful on so many levels. You get to know what
you will and will not accept from yourself and from others. You
learn how to choose your battles. And you genuinely get to like
you, warts and all.
- As I read my
letter to myself, I noted how encouraging I was to me. I even told
myself not to beat myself up if I had not met all my goals. I truly
believe that when we are good to ourselves, others have no choice
but to be good to us, or stay away from us. There will be people
who will insist on trying to disrespect, handle, or hate us. But I
say stand your ground. I mean if you don’t stand for you, who will?
Of course, this means there will be times when you are alone, even
lonely. Because finding people who believe in mutual respect like
you do, is no easy feat. But it will be worth it.
- We live in a
time when most human beings want to feel they have the upper hand
in their relationships, regardless of the relationship dynamic.
Spouses are disrespecting each other. Children are disrespecting
their parents. Students disrespect their teachers. The driver
behind you curses you if you’re not driving off seconds after the
light turns green. People just seem to be generally upset at each
- The funny
thing is, if we just treated people the way we would like to be
treated, the global thermostat would normalize exponentially! Alas,
the best we can do is to continue to do our best on an individual
- And what
does all of this have to do with the issues of being childless not
by choice? Well, everything! Because, how do you feel about you?
Really, do you say more positive things to yourself than negative?
Do you allow people to speak negatively to you, about you? Have you
learned or are learning to choose your battles? Are you intent on
maintaining as much peace as possible in your daily
believe me, being good to you, speaking positively instead of
negatively, to yourself; and choosing the right people to surround
yourself with does not make you a pushover. Life is stressful
enough without accepting and surrounding yourself with crazy all
the time. But it all starts with you.
- As we head
toward another fresh new year, why not write yourself a letter? Say
some nice things to yourself. Write two or three goals you would
like to accomplish. Encourage yourself. Then seal the envelope, and
put it in a safe place. I will check in with you a year from now.
We can exchange experiences. What I really want you to do, is
realize how beautiful you are, and what a beautiful life you can
have, no matter how life turned out for you. Like Susan said in her
email, we are blessed. We must keep that in mind when negativity
attempts to make its way into our hearts and minds. Sometimes it
will be a fight to maintain a positive attitude, but it will be
you for joining me for another episode of 21st Century Hannah. It
is greatly appreciated. Remember to visit me at
www.childlessnotbychoice.net for details on the platform, and to
subscribe to my free monthly newsletter.
there are so many places to listen to the podcast. You may listen
directly on the www.childlessnotbychoice.net
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like to leave me a message? Look to the right on any page of
www.childlessnotbychoice.net, you will see an oblong tab. Click on
it and leave me a voice message of up to 90 seconds. And to leave
me a review, head on over to iTunes! I would love to hear from
outline for my annual goals list. Try to come up with four to six
bullet points for each topic below. See how much more interactive
this list is versus just writing a list on a piece of
paper? I hope you find it
- WHAT WOULD I
LIKE TO BE MOST THANKFUL FOR IN 2016?
- CAN IT BE
BOILED DOWN TO FOUR GOALS?
- CAN THE
GOALS BE CATEGORIZED: FAMILY/GIVING/PERSONAL
- CAN THE
DEADLINE FOR MEETING THE GOALS BE BROKEN DOWN INTO
are shocked, almost in disbelief when I tell them how mean people
can be some times. Well, here are a couple of links to articles on
the ugliness of human beings in regards to the issues of
childlessness not by choice. I'm not posting them to perpetuate
hate, but to prove that childlessness is a global issue. There are
variations based on culture, but it is definitely a global
So check them
out, tell me what you think.
there! Don’t let them get to you!
Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
Civilla Morgan, MSM
to take the survey!