Jun 18, 2020
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode --120!
When I started this podcast I had no idea. I could just end that sentence right there. I mean, no idea what I was doing, no idea of the deep valley moments of lost episodes, ruined episodes, tears of frustration. And the mountaintop moments where I got the interview! The authors, the suggested episode topics from people listening from halfway around the world. The emails and Facebook Messenger messages from people who wanted to remain anonymous. The words of encouragement, the care package from a listener in Hawaii or funding for lavalier mics from a listener way in the northern part of our planet. I had no idea.
I had no idea I would make it to 120 episodes. Podfading is a real thing. It typically happens around episode 7. You just realize this podcasting thing is not for you, or maybe life gets in the way. And you stop, promising yourself you will be back. But…
And life did happen to me. As my mom became more ill, I went from two episodes per month to one. I’m on my third podcast producer in five years. I have decided that going forward I will take a two-month break in October and November. That saved my sanity last year.
I’m humbled. I’m thankful to you for listening and tuning in month after month. I’m thankful for your episode suggestions. I am thankful for your letters and notes as they encourage me just as much as you say this podcast encourages you. Every once in a while I still have imposter syndrome. But I push through and keep writing and creating. I mean, am I an imposter if I’ve been writing since I was 11 years old? Maybe. But I love to write, I love to create with my writing. And look, there’s a 120 episode just about five-year-old podcast here. I had no idea!
Thank you! Now please tell someone about this podcast!
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Body of episode content:
Let’s talk about it. There is a pandemic going on, there is social unrest in America, we watched a man murdered on video in broad daylight, in 2020, solely because of the color of his skin. And here we are thinking it's the 21st century and we are more civilized.
Other countries marched in commiseration and agreement with us, that police brutality against people of color must stop. We saw you on the news, and we thank you, from New Zealand to South Korea, to Australia, to Scotland, to South Africa, to Canada. The Indigenous people of Australia, the Maori, The Native Americans, we see you. We are all human first. And if we are alive, if we made it through the birth canal, we deserve at the minimum, basic human respect.
There is social unrest in other countries, for various reasons. Wherever you are listening from there is probably some breaking news. There’s always breaking news.
And there is a lot of stress. Our own personal stresses. Bills, joblessness due to the pandemic or not, caring for loved ones, worrying about our personal future and the future of our respective countries. Yes, we childless not by choice women have worries too. I have said it in previous episodes, we pay taxes into school districts to which we have no kids enrolled. That’s not a hater or hateful comment. It is a fact.
We have concerns. They may be different concerns than those with children, but they are just as valid.
Whew, talk about stress! What to do?!
Well, I talk about what to do in episode 118. How to keep the stress levels down, getting mental health help by talking to a trusted friend or counselor. And taking time for yourself.
I talk about recognizing and dealing with triggers in episode 94. Be sure to check out both episodes, links are in the show notes.
Also in the show notes is a four-minute recording called ‘Privilege is like a Blanket’. Check it out!
So, in light of everything that is going on, and although I created that four-minute episode I mentioned about privilege being like a blanket, I want to go deeper. Because I would bet all I have, that America is not the only country where racism exists.
And more to the point, it is not the only country where implicit bias and racism are built into every part of the human existence. From kindergarten to the nursing home, people of color have been and are being treated with implicit bias. I put a link in the show notes about a doctor, an educated man, who is also a lawmaker, asking if the virus is affecting people of color more because we’re not washing our hands. Yes, it’s 2020 and people with this filthy mindset are walking among us. It’s scary. This guy could have been my doctor. I’m not a mind reader. Discernment of his stupidity might be the only thing that might have saved me from continuing to go to him.
So, if implicit bias exists in all aspects of our lives, even healthcare, what about the healthcare of childless not by choice women?
Aha! Great question.
Women who have been sterilized down through history:
It's estimated that as many as 25-50 percent of Native American women were sterilized between 1970 and 1976. Forced sterilization programs are also a part of history in Puerto Rico, where sterilization rates are said to be the highest in the world. Google--Jan 29, 2016
Imagine going to the hospital for a common surgical procedure such as an appendectomy, only to find out afterward that you’d been sterilized. In the 20th century, untold numbers of women of color endured such life-altering experiences in part because of medical racism. Black, Native American, and Puerto Rican women report being sterilized without their consent after undergoing routine medical procedures or after giving birth.
Others say they unknowingly signed documentation allowing them to be sterilized or were coerced into doing so. The experiences of these women strained relations between people of color and healthcare personnel. In the 21st century, members of communities of color still widely distrust medical officials.
Women who have had surgeries they did not need, and yes this can happen to women of any race:
An estimated 7.5 million unnecessary medical and surgical procedures are performed annually with the number of unnecessary hospital stays around 8.9 million a year...
So, as we close out here, I wanted to remind you of a couple of things. If you are a member of the Childless not by choice with Civilla Morgan Facebook group, we had a little get together in our Facebook group on Mother’s Day! And now we are planning on having another get together in July, but this time it will be in Zoom so that more of us can come on video. Facebook only allows two people at a time. That’s not a real party! So, there is a poll going in the group, be sure to choose the date that works for you. Majority wins. I will post the date and time in the group, and the Zoom link a few minutes before we start.
Be sure to check out the show notes. I put links in there to the two episodes I discussed in this episode, and there’s a bunch of other stuff. Always check the show notes!
Articles of note:
Articles used for this episode:
My contact information:
Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
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Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.
Until next time, Bye!