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Childless not by Choice

Hello there, my name is Civilla Morgan. Are you childless not by choice? Do you know someone who is?

After years of hoping, and waiting, even attempting on two occasions to adopt; I realized I would never have children. It was a difficult time for me, but I decided that I could not be the only woman on this planet trying to figure out how to deal with my situation.

You see, I was not willing to pretend I was OK when I really was not. I wanted children and I was not going to be having any.  I heard all types of comments down through the years from acquaintances and strangers alike. Some meant well, some wanted me to be sure I recognized they had something I would never have.

But through it all, as much as my heart hurt, I also knew there were women worldwide who were going through the same or similar circumstances and feelings. And on top of that, some women are being physically and mentally mistreated.

So I created Childless not by Choice aka 21st Century Hannah. A platform where I speak to and encourage women who are childless not by choice. Check out my episodes, and please tell your friends and family; especially those who are childless not by choice. For details on all things childless not by choice, visit me at www.childlessnotbychoice.net. 

Thank you!

  1. All Episodes
  2. Episode 72--Male and childless not by choice, my interview with Dr. Robin Hadley

Oct 9, 2017

Hello everyone! Civilla Morgan here! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.  I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life; although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.

Before we get started:

Thank you’s:

  • Thank you for your FB re-shares and your Twitter comments and re-tweets. It is always appreciated.
  • Individual thank you’s if any:
  • Shout outs:
  • Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link below for details and to become a Patron!)

Click the link below to become my next Patreon Subscriber:

 https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah

 Current Patreon contributors:

  • Podcaster Sarah Williams of The Tough Girls Podcast
  • Jordan Morgan

 

Well, today I have a special guest! This wonderful gentleman and I follow each other on Twitter. But one day I took a longer look at his Twitter profile and became intrigued with his platform. He talks about childlessness from a man’s point of view! Many of you recall there was a time when I did not consider the thought that men could have difficulty dealing with childlessness. I am so thankful for growth and for revelation!

Since I opened my mind to the fact that men can and do suffer whether emotionally or from society’s expectation, I have had the great opportunity to discuss childlessness from a man’s point of view a couple of times here on the podcast. And now I have the great opportunity to interview Dr. Robin Hadley. Let me tell you a little about him!     

Dr. Robin:

Was born in 1960 in a working-class area of Manchester (UK). He was the 7th of 8 children, 4 boys and 4 girls. Dr. Robin left school with only a few qualifications. But his wide-ranging careers have included such roles as counsellor, deputy technical manager, and scientific and technical photographer (28 years), kitchen assistant, and even bartender.

Dr. Robin’s training as a counsellor and his own experience of the desire for fatherhood, led him to research the subject of involuntarily childless men’s desire for fatherhood as research dissertation for his Master of Arts in Counselling, The University of Manchester.

He followed up with a self-funded Master of Science (again at The University of Manchester) exploring the levels of desire for parenthood (‘broodiness’) in females and males, parents and non-parents. He was a Social Gerontology PhD studentship at Keele University in 2010. And for his PhD study examined the experiences of involuntarily childless older men, and awarded his PhD in December 2015.

Post PhD, Dr. Robin has held a number of short term Research Associate posts on projects relating to ageing, dementia, technology, and fathers influence on infant feeding.

Welcome Dr. Robin!

*Please note that Dr. Robin’s contact information, along with links to his Theses are in the show notes.

Questions:

  • First, for our non-UK listeners, tell us exactly what ‘broodiness’ means. I believe the term may be used in a slightly different way here in America!

 

  • In our first meeting, I asked if you are childless not by choice and you advised you are. Was it due to circumstance or was it biological? I may seem nosey, but I know there are many men listening, and I want them to realize they are not alone.
  • In your research, you mentioned the biological clock. Did you find that men have biological clocks like women do, in a different way, or not at all?

 

  • In your thesis, you said: quote: ‘Research has mainly focussed on family and women, with the fertility intentions, history and experience, of older men being overlooked. Most nations do not collect the fertility history of men and consequently, it is impossible to judge the population level of childless men. Although involuntary childlessness has frequently only been associated with infertility treatment there is growing recognition that there is a latent population that is absent from research literature. ‘Have you seen any change in the two years since you wrote this?

 

  • In your PhD Thesis Summary where you mentioned the research of the 14 men aged 49-82, did you notice a trend of any type, aside from the ongoing grieving, was there anything that stood out or that surprised you about their responses? I am assuming grieving is ongoing?

 

  • Did you have the opportunity to teach these men anything that would help them cope with childlessness?
  • Is there a word of encouragement that you can share with the male listeners?

 

  • ‘Post PhD, you have held a number of short term Research Associate posts on projects relating to aging, dementia, technology, and fathers influence on infant feeding. Tell us more about this research, such as did you recognize an elevated level of dementia, or any other negative impact on the men you researched?

 

  • In closing, is there anything you would like to add, anything I missed? There was so much, and I found your thesis papers intriguing. So I am sure there was much more we could have discussed!

 

Dr. Robin’s contact information:

http://www.robinhadley.co.uk/index.shtml

 

Specialty areas include: men, masculinity, male childlessness and infertility, fatherhood, gender, aging, older men, impact of childlessness/infertility, family.

 

Dr. Robin’s Papers, Thesis and MSc Thesis:

http://bit.ly/2fg0RLc 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0By0paj_-gAAbbXVIR3drQjVGdGM/view?usp=sharing

 

Closing:

Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice. If you found value in this episode, or the podcast and platform in general, feel free to visit my Patreon site. See the link below. Patreon gives you the opportunity to schedule monthly contributions of any amount, to a platform for which you find value!

Please also feel free to visit iTunes now known as Apple Podcast, or just go to the website and subscribe to the podcast. It would be appreciated!

 

News stories and articles on childlessness…

http://www.vogue.co.uk/article/surrogacy-in-the-uk

 

 My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah

 

Do you use hashtags? Would you consider helping me spread the word about the Childless not by Choice platform by using them in your social media posts when telling others about the platform—podcast, blogs, etc.?

#childlessnotbychoice

#21stcenturyhannah

#awarenesscreator

#civillamorgan

Thank you!

  

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 Until next time, thank you! bye!