Dec 14, 2020
Hello, and welcome to another
episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast, where my mission is
to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men
around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great
news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life,
although we did not have the children we so wanted. I also welcome
you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe you did not want
children, maybe you have children. Thanks for tuning in.
Welcome to episode 124! Imposter
Before we get into the
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Body of episode content:
- Feeling like an imposter when we do life as
CNBC women: I got this list from zencare.co
- Extreme lack of self-confidence.
- Constant comparison to other
- Distrust in one's own intuition and
- Dwelling on the past.
When do you most feel like an imposter:
When attending an event and immediately feeling like an imposter
when all of the women start talking about their
At work when a co-worker visits the office with her
newborn. You wish you had
a way of slipping out without being noticed, just like an imposter
When you are the CEO of a company or the Prime Minister
of a country, and another woman says you cannot lead because you
have no real investment in the future of the
When your siblings show up with their kids
When people assume you have children
and they make commentary such as
‘you wouldn’t want that to happen to your kids would
When someone says ‘you don’t have kids so you won’t
Where do you
belong as a CNBC woman?
- Anyplace you want to be.
- Anyplace you worked hard to be.
any table, you feel you belong.
- How we should deal with imposter syndrome and gain the
confidence we deserve:
confidence by joining a group, a community, of people who are in
your same boat.
comparing your life to other’s lives. Everyone is on their
- Depending on where you are in your childless
not by choice journey, you can feel anxious and doubtful about
where your journey leads. I won’t lie to you, it can seem scary. No
one knows what the future holds, and a future without children may
seem scary and lonely…but remember, your future is what you make
it. We’ve talked about this before, remember, there is no guarantee
that if you had had children that you would have someone to check
in on you, to care for you. It would have been a 50/50
yourself, even if or when no one else will. Even when you stand
alone in your healthy boundaries. Trust yourself. You are worthy,
and the longer you continue on in your journey, you will continue
to realize and enjoy your worth.
took me a long time, but I have gotten to the point where I look in
the mirror and say positive things to myself. Sometimes I even
smile at myself. Do I think I am better than everyone else? No,
because I am not comparing myself to anyone else. I am on my own
journey, you are on yours. Look in your mirror in the mornings. You
may feel dorky at first, but trust me, practice makes perfect.
Practice saying nice things to yourself. Practice smiling at
yourself in the mirror. Kindness to yourself will show in the way
you interact with the world. They--the world, your family, your
co-workers, will see a difference.
- So don’t look back on what might
have been, what could have been. Looking back will not change
things. Look around you now. Look ahead to what can
So, we’re heading into a new
year. 2020 has been beyond crazy right. I mean you know the saying
‘you can’t make this stuff up’, has new meaning. But before
we get there, about the Holidays. Well, usually we would be
discussing how to deal with family and friends, maintaining healthy
boundaries, leaving the party when we were good ready,
Most of us aren’t heading to any
parties right now, right? So we’re most likely in the opposite
place: seclusion, furlough, maybe even loneliness? Totally opposite
direction. What to do about being in a different place this holiday
Well, none of us have been down
this path before. I mean the last pandemic was 100 years ago. So I
am not going to pretend I know everything to say here. What I will
say to you is what I would say to me:
what you must to remain healthy mentally,
spiritually, emotionally, even physically. That means
mentally that you
speak with a therapist if things seem to be spinning, or even
slowly swirling out of control. Don’t wait until you have no
sense of direction. Instead, take yourself seriously. Listen to
of you know that I am a Believer. That means for me, that I read my
Bible daily, I listen to sermons by pastors I really like and
respect, I go to church (online. I haven’t been inside the church
building since about March), and I read and listen to
devotions. So in addition to my morning devotions, sometimes
throughout the day, I will listen to one of my favorite pastors.
These practices keep my mind clear and healthy, leaving less room
for negativity. Do I have my ups and downs especially during this
crazy pandemic? Of course. But I look to my faith as my foundation
that the rest of my life branches from. What are your
health is pretty similar to mental
health. The difference though is that emotional health is the
ability to cope. The WHO--World Health Organization says that
‘Mental health is “a
state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own
abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work
productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to
his or her community”. If you are having trouble coping, a word
I don’t generally like, but I think it works in this context, get
help. Bottom line.
Well, I have recently started back
on my treadmill. 30 minutes every morning. And it is when I am on
my treadmill that I do my devotionals. So I’m multitasking,
something I love to do. It took me several months to get back on
although I know I needed to, and I am telling you, it is the best
investment in oneself. Exercise is a self-investment. It makes me
feel physically better, stronger, and able. And it’s also
good for mental health.
So, there you have it. Imposter
syndrome and mental health. Please take this information with you
into 2021. I don’t know what is in store for us, but one way or the
other, we must keep up our strength and our hope.
Well, two more things before I
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ask you to do this very much, but I will ask more in 2021, so don’t
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not by choice women on this planet and we are just as worthy to be
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Well, thank you for listening to this episode
of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize and speak to the
broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the
‘Spreading the great news that
live a joyful, relevant, and