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Childless not by Choice

Hello there, my name is Civilla Morgan. Are you childless not by choice? Do you know someone who is?

After years of hoping, and waiting, even attempting on two occasions to adopt; I realized I would never have children. It was a difficult time for me, but I decided that I could not be the only woman on this planet trying to figure out how to deal with my situation.

You see, I was not willing to pretend I was OK when I really was not. I wanted children and I was not going to be having any.  I heard all types of comments down through the years from acquaintances and strangers alike. Some meant well, some wanted me to be sure I recognized they had something I would never have.

But through it all, as much as my heart hurt, I also knew there were women worldwide who were going through the same or similar circumstances and feelings. And on top of that, some women are being physically and mentally mistreated.

So I created Childless not by Choice aka 21st Century Hannah. A platform where I speak to and encourage women who are childless not by choice. Check out my episodes, and please tell your friends and family; especially those who are childless not by choice. For details on all things childless not by choice, visit me at www.childlessnotbychoice.net. 

Thank you!

  1. All Episodes
  2. Episode 109--'Life when the answer is no' ,My interview with Kate Kaufmann

May 22, 2019

Intro:
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted. I would also like to thank everyone who recognizes that we are not all living the same type of life.

Welcome to episode 109!

 
Questions or comments? Contact me at:

 

Email: Info@civillamorgan.com

 

                                              Or

 

Visit the website at www.childlessnotbychoice.net, look to the left on the home screen and click on the link below the telephone to leave me a voicemail. You have 90 seconds!



Patreon Contributors: I would also like to thank my Patreon contributor Ivy Calhoun for her monthly financial contribution to the platform. Whether you contribute via patreon.com/childlessnotbychoice, or you go to the website and contribute via PayPal, your contributions are appreciated and used to help the platform get the word out. Thank you!

https://www.patreon.com/Childlessnotbychoice

  • Jordan Morgan
  • Ivy Calhoun
  • Sandra Carzado
  • Your Name Here



Intro: 

 

Body of episode content:

On the introduction page 12, you say... Can you talk to the childless not by choice woman who may be dwelling on the fact that she did not have children, she did not experience pregnancy or teen curfews, about how she can feel empowered in helping an absolute stranger go through college, or become a lifelong learner and teacher; how to accept her capacity to manage her life of ‘more freedom’ without feeling like she needs to answer to society about what she is doing with her time and money?


This may be a bit of a follow up to the previous question, but you say on... ‘our impact on the world is enormous but often understated.’  As I read that passage I thought about two Prime Ministers who are childless: Theresa May of The United Kingdom and Australia’s former Prime Minister Julia Gillard. Probably for different reasons, but the fact is they are childless. And whether one agrees with their politics or not, the fact is they are childless and leaving a footprint. But they have gotten so much flack for being childless. How do you think those of us who are not so high profile can deal with society’s backlash?



Your Introduction section can be a book unto itself!

14 ‘Who mentors a non-mom?’ I truly believe that is where and why Community is so important? As I read your book, I felt a sense of large scale community, it felt truly global, probably in part because the book reflects your travels as you interviewed and spoke with childless women--by choice or not. Could you describe community to us?

 

Pg. 8--Ch.1-- These are the things society just generally does not think about. And if we allow society to not think of these things, we allow them to treat us like second class or unimportant citizens on life’s journey. How do we get them to see such intricacies without creating a sob story with every interaction we have?  

 

Pg. 34--Now I was really surprised by that statistic. It has never crossed my mind to witness a birth, and honestly, I have no interest. I just think it would make me dwell even more on what I did not get.  Seriously, none of these women felt a pang of jealousy, sadness, ‘why not me?’

 

In chapter five where you beautifully but in a bittersweet way describe the end of your marriage, you talk about how important it is for us to consider how we define family. How our boundaries are shaped. Because proper boundaries are important to our mental and emotional health, childless or not. But as childless not by choice women we get to choose don’t we?

 

(pg. 141) What I really loved about the book was how you incorporated the many facets of our humanity--childless, childfree, dreams and aspirations, what did and did not happen for us, our religious beliefs (thinking about Marianne’s story which intrigued me because I grew up in church), or not; planning for our elder years, all of these things remind us how three-dimensional we all are. As human beings, we all belong to multiple demographics and those who refuse to acknowledge that we are all more than our visible demographic tend to see us as one dimensional any way.  But we are more than our childlessness aren’t we?

 

Any closing thoughts, anything you would really like to cover before we sign off?       



Kate Kaufmann’s Contact Info:

katekaufmann.com



Articles you may find interesting:

https://www.heraldscotland.com/arts_ents/17644303.we-are-a-pro-natalist-society-lorna-gibb-on-living-without-children/

 

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-90-my-interview-with-jody-day-founder-of-gateway-women/

 

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-105-my-interview-with-pamela-mahoney-tsigdinos/







Special thank you to:

 

Thank you Devoted, for the beautiful theme music we use here at Childless not by Choice. Devoted has had the opportunity to sing and play in many countries. To learn more about Devoted, including their concert schedule, visit their website at www.devotedministry.org.



My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan
Twitter: @civilla1
Instagram: @joyandrelevance
Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM
LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM
https://www.teepublic.com/stores/childless-not-by-choice

If you would like to become a one time or ongoing sponsor, or if you would like to advertise your business or an upcoming event, contact me at info@civillamorgan.com for details.

 

Remember, subscription to the podcast is free. Simply go to Apple Podcast, Stitcher Radio, Spotify, Overcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Search for Childless not by Choice, and hit the subscribe button. It’s that easy!


Well, thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!

 

‘To recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world.’

 

‘Spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life’.