Apr 13, 2020
Hello, and
welcome to another episode of the Childless not by Choice Podcast,
where my mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by
choice women and men around the world. Civilla Morgan here. I am
spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and
fulfilled life, although we did not have the children we so wanted.
I also welcome you even if you do not fit the demographic. Maybe
you did not want children, maybe you have children. Thanks for
tuning in. Welcome to episode 118!
What is
today’s show? How CoronaVirus sets new
boundaries.
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CoronaVirus sets new
boundaries!
If you have
been a part of our CNBC family for any time, you know how much I
discuss and completely believe in the importance of boundaries
because I believe proper boundaries promote positive mental health.
When we allow others-family, friends, co-workers, etc, to cross
boundaries by guilting us into running errands because we do not
have children. When we allow them to speak to us in a negative way.
And when we allow people to continually push us into acquiescing to
a decision we did not originally want to make because they think
our voice is unimportant, we are allowing them to cross boundaries
and normalize disrespect.
Make sure that
you have set kind but firm boundaries in every aspect of your life.
Setting boundaries takes time and patience--with yourself and with
others. Be nice, keep trying, and know it will be worth
it!
Speaking of
boundaries, how does Covid 19 affect those of us who are childless
not by choice?
- Family
interactions--stay in
place, stay at home, but suppose you have elderly family members
who need help, it can seem overwhelming, confusing, and
crazy.
- Family looks different
to the childless not by choice person--as childless not by choice people, sometimes
we have fewer people to interact with
anyway.
- We may not have children
of our own, but for many
of us, there are children or young people in our lives that we care
about immensely. We care about how they are doing, mentally,
emotionally, spiritually. We want them to be OK. Isn’t that
beautiful? We still get to share ourselves, just not in the way we
expected we would. Now that many of us are ‘staying in place’, that
gives us more time to get in contact, at a safe distance, with
those same young people or elderly people in our lives. Do it! We
will probably never have this amount of time
again.
- When we are young we
feel like we will live forever, but we need to follow the CDC guidelines.
Many people outside of the at-risk demographic are now getting sick
and even dying. Follow the guidelines. Stay home as much as you
can, only going out if you absolutely need to. I know it’s not
easy, but that six feet of social distancing can save your life.
There is a ton of information out there and I know we are on
information overload right now, but I am putting a link to a great
article from All Recipes in the show notes. You may ask what does a
recipe have to do with fighting the CoronaVirus, but trust me, I
really like the way the article was written, and how informative it
was. And I LOVE All Recipes. And no, they are not paying me to
mention them here. But not only do I like the fact that they post
real-life, doable recipes, but they also respond when you post a
comment on Facebook! They really do exist!
LOL.
- Consider those in our
families who are at risk or the person who
has pre-existing conditions. As I mentioned earlier, consider the safety of
those around you who are elderly, and/or at risk. And remember, we
may not always know who is at risk. There are many young and
younger people out there who have unseen conditions. Let’s just
consider each other as we go about our day, even if we are staying
in place. And I would be remiss if I did not mention that on top of
dealing with the overwhelming situation we find ourselves in as a
world, some of us are also caregivers. We are supposed to be six
feet apart at all times, social distancing; but we are also caring
for an elderly parent or other family members. How are we supposed
to do that? It’s not easy. But the best we can do is the best we
can do! By the way, where we can, we should help our
elderly or at-risk neighbors who may not have family members to
help them. If we can’t
help directly, we can help by donating time to an elder care center
or even donating food to a food bank. There are a lot of people who
have lost jobs and income, a lot of elderly who have lost support
because their support has been furloughed or laid off. What is
happening in our world right now is truly a major domino
effect.
- Get the
mental health help you need. This
is so important I wanted to discuss it last, just before we end our
time together. We were already battling the emotions that come with
the loss of the ability to have a child, to have the family we
envisioned. We were dealing with decisions we would have to make
about every day, now probably innocuous events. We were dealing
with life the way we were learning to deal with it as childless
women and men, and then on top of that, a pandemic hits everyone.
And we all know that everyone deals with these types of events in
different ways. In addition to handling stress in different ways,
people’s true colors begin to come out, the scam artists come out
in full force to take advantage of people. There are layers and
layers of things happening that cause such stress. Some people have
just suffered major losses and now have to deal with this temporary
new normal. If you are feeling overwhelmed please, please seek
help. Speak to a trusted friend or a professional; someone who can
speak with you objectively. Many major corporations offer therapy
assistance through their EAP’s--employee assistance programs.
Please do not be afraid to ask for help. I had to get help twice in
my life: once after my hysterectomy. And then more recently when my
mom passed. In fact, I am writing the content for this episode the
day after her official birthday, and on the day we celebrated it.
My mom always said that her mother said she was born on the 29th of
March, but the hospital put the 30th on her birth certificate. They
never changed it, so we celebrated on the 30th. It has been 10
months since she passed and I miss her so much sometimes I can
hardly take it. She was in pain for many years, and now she is not.
Now I must continue on with life, with my new normal. And then a
global pandemic. It can be more than overwhelming. Seek assistance.
Don’t be afraid. Please check out the links I’ve put in the show
notes.
Resources:
https://childlessnotbychoice.net/category/resources/
https://www.allrecipes.com/syndication/how-to-keep-the-coronavirus-from-coming-home-with-you/?utm_term=63B9DA34-72DE-11EA-A79B-162A50017A06&utm_campaign=allrecipes_allrecipes&utm_content=internalsyndication_coronavirus_parents&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&fbclid=IwAR0SJmroD0wliQnNl6u_5YqFIfgFWc5Ehky3o93CP91du-eZUe9zTZ6HCj4
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information:
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www.civillamorgan.com
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MSM
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Well, thank you for listening to this episode
of Childless not by Choice! Until next time! Bye!
‘To recognize
and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women,
and men, around the world.’
‘Spreading the great news that we
can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled
life’.